(this is a repost of a blog I did on Myspace, but i thought you all would enjoy it as well)
I picked up Evil a couple of years back. No really, I did. Let me tell you about it.
When I saw Evil, it was gross, dirty and on the ground in a parking lot by a store that I frequent. It looked like it had been there for awhile, waiting for someone to come along and pick it up. I saw it lying there and it immediately intrigued me, so I picked it up and looked at it ... you know, just to kinda check it out. Evil was tiny, plain and pretty obvious what it was, but I didn't care. It was a small thing that seemed innocent and besides, it made me laugh. I mean come on, who ever finds Evil in the parking lot? When I usually encounter Evil, I'd chuckle, throw the damn thing away and go wash my hands, but today something was different. I kept Evil in my pocket and forgot about it.
A couple days later I found Evil again in the front pocket of my jeans. I remember pulling it out and looking at it that day, Evil seemed ... well ... less dirty and gross, and still made me laugh, so I kept Evil and put it in the cup holder of my car.
Evil stayed with me for over two years. Every time I'd go to the car wash, I would have an opportunity to get rid of it and throw Evil away, but I discovered I was pretty protective of Evil and made sure it was always safe and tucked away where it couldn't get thrown away. It seemed natural to have Evil there ... it was comforting and my own little secret and private inside joke.
I remember one time someone got in my car, and I quickly reached down and turned Evil over so the person getting in couldn't see it. I mean, how can you explain your Evil to someone? I really didn't want to go through the long, drawn out story about how I got Evil and why I kept it. I was really embarrassed and ashamed of Evil, but my desire to keep it was stronger than my anxiety of having it exposed and having to account for it.
So Evil stayed in my cup holder for the next two years.
About a week ago, I came to the conclusion that I really didn't need to keep Evil anymore. The inside joke had run it's course and now Evil was just a part of me like a wart or callous. But every time I went to get rid of it, I would distract myself and just keep on going about my life with Evil always close by.
Today, Sunday April 30th, I threw away Evil. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy, and I started getting anxious about throwing Evil away after I took the picture. I mean, this is something I've kept with me for years, and in my mind seemed like a part of my ... my identity. But I knew it had to go, so I tossed Evil in the trash anyway. Kind of odd how I had such an attachment to a small insignificant object that really didn't need to be a part of me. Hmmm ... might be good to go a little deeper and look at how that's like my life.
I wonder what other dirty little things there are in my life I've picked up over the years need to be thrown away?
DG
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